So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
