i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Buhtt sex?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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