you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you didnt know i had herpes?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
