Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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