So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
