They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
