I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I bet he comes in French.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
