I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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