No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
