There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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