In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just want to make out with him forever
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
