Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
