Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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