The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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