bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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