i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
