problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
soo... how was my night?
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