I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
