I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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