Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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