i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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