So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
