he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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