So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Houston, we have a blender
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
