my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
