Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
