He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
