To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
