Christians are straight up FREAKS
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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