Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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