When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
