Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
