So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
