he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
