WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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