Christians are straight up FREAKS
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
