I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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