I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
