Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
