Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
