She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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