Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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