If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
