I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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