She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
