Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
