Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
