i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
