CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize