In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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