You can't special order awesome
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
