hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I love you. Go after that dick
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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