Me too!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
