i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
