Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
