He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize