...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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