Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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