I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
