I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
