Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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