So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
