McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
